


Pokemon Highschool

by Thunder23Shock



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pokemon Highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:12:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunder23Shock/pseuds/Thunder23Shock
Summary: name speaks for itself





	1. And So it Begins

Pokemon highschool story… yay

Mew: 80 bucks says this story will blow

Darkrai: No duh

shut up, oh and I don't own pokemon

"Welcome class to your first day at legendary high. Let's try to keep casualties at a minimum this year people." Arceus' voice boomed over the school's loudspeaker.

Two students walked into the schools and walked up to a smaller teen. One was wearing black jeans and a red shirt with black hair while the other was dressed entirely in black with a red collar on his shirt and had white hair. The smaller teen was dressed in pink and had short blonde hair.

"Excuse me miss-" The black haired teen started before being cut off by the other student.

"Miss? For your information I am 100% man." The younger student shouted startling the other teens.

"Could've fooled me." The white haired teen said causing the shorter student to grit his teeth.

"Darkrai! I'm sorry about the confusion ma-sir. I meant to say sir." The boy extended his hand "Yveltal Grimm."

The smaller teen shook Yveltal's hand "Mew Origin. Now what did you need?"

"We're new here and we don't know our way around the place."

"I have just the thing." Mew said before he started digging in his backpack. Mew pulled out a folded up piece of paper and handed it to Yveltal. "This is a map of the school."

"Gee, thanks M-" Yveltal and Darkrai looked at the paper and Darkrai gained a smile while Yveltal was utterly shocked.

"Something wrong." Mew asked.

Darkrai Smiled wickedly "Who's Celebi?" Mew quickly realized his error and grabbed the paper.

"Tell anyone, especially Celebi," Mew said "And no-one will ever find your bodies."

Mew handed Yveltal a real map and left. "Let's find this Celebi chick and tell her." Darkrai suggested.

"No thanks," Yveltal said "I want to live through high school."

"Wuss," Darkrai said before the loudspeaker clicked on again.

"This just in students," Arceus said "We have received a threat that the school will be blown up via plastic explosive. We advise our students to scream and panic… What? Oh, we advise our students to not scream and panic despite the fact that the likelihood of anyone surviving this is miniscule at best."

"Wow," Mew said appearing behind Darkrai and Yveltal "Someone's threatening to blow up the school on the first day. New record."

"You're not worried about, I don't know imminent death!" Yveltal said.

"Oh please," Mew replied "Someone threatens to blow up the school every week. Just ignore it and it will be fine."

Other than the bomb threat the school day was rather uneventful until lunch.

Yveltal and Darkrai saw Mew waving and decided to sit next to him. He was sitting next to another teen who looked alot like him except was taller and wore white instead of pink.

"Hey guys," Mew said "This is my brother Mewtwo. Say hi Mewtwo."

"Greeting lifeforms acquainted to fraternal unit." Mewtwo said in cold emotionless voice.

Mew pulled a hammer out from beneath the table and smashed Mewtwo's head. Yveltal's jaw dropped while Darkrai began grinning.

"Get up here Mewtwo." Mew said before pulling his actual brother out from under the table.

"Did you have to destroy my robot?"

"Yes."

"Whatever," Mew's brother replied "I'm going to sleep."

Mewtwo put his head down and quickly fell asleep.

"I got this," Mew said before whispering in his brother's ear "Deoxys is here."

Mewtwo's head jolted up "Where?"

Mew began giggling before his brother punched him.

"Who's Deoxys?" Yveltal asked.

"A chick who's obsessed with my brother."

"Your in our seats." a voice spoke. Mew and Mewtwo recognized it.

INTERMISSION

Mewtwo, Darkrai, and Yveltal were all relaxing in a gift shop.

Mewtwo: This is the life no child psychos or mythical creatures made of wax, just relaxation.

The gift shop's vending then exploded which Mew came out of with a slime creature on his left arm.

Mew: Kill it before it tastes human flesh

Mew then fired an energy beam out of his right hand destroying the creature and a fair portion of the gift shop

Mew: Whoopsie

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM

The voice belonged to one of three teenagers standing in front of the four.

"That's Giratina creation," Mew said "The two next to him are his brothers Palkia and Dialga."

"Shadow Ball," Giratina said before firing a ball of dark energy into Mew's face "I'm not going to ask again."

Students quickly surrounded the seven students "FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!"

A faculty member burst into principal Arceus' office

"Principal Arceus," he said "There is a fight going on in the cafeteria."

"Already," Arceus replied "New record."

The seven teenagers were covered with scratches and bruises each of them looked ready to finally end it

"Shadow Force"

"Roar of Time"

"Spacial Rend"

"Psystrike"

"Psybang"

"Oblivion Wing"

"Dark Void"

Arceus entered the cafeteria and took the hit from all seven attacks

"Everyone, in my office now."

"We're screwed." Yveltal said under his breath

Was it good or did it suck?

Yveltal: definitely the latter

shut up

Mewtwo: read and review


	2. It's About to get real

(Exhales cigar smoke) I'm back baby

Mew: unfortunately

Deadpool: shut up Mew, else he might kill off your character

Yveltal: where did you come from?

Didn't I mention? now whenever one of you breaks the fourth wall deadpool will come in and kick your butt

Yveltal: why?

Cause I said so

Deadpool: WeeGee55 doesn't own pokemon or yours truly

The seven teens stood outside principal Arceus' office waiting for their punishment when a girl dressed in orange and blue walked up to them.

"Hi Mewtwo!" she blurted out in an obnoxious tone, "Where have you been lover boy?"

Mewtwo sighed "I do not wish to live anymore."

"Well then," Mew said "You know what you gotta do right."

"WeeGee55 sucks as an author!" Mewtwo screamed at the top of his lungs, "Am I supposed to be this story's Megward the wizard or something?"

Deadpool then teleported behind Mewtwo.

"No breaking the fourth wall!" he said before flipping Mewtwo into a brick wall "Don't do drugs kids."

What did you think I was joking

Vice principal Zygarde entered the hallway

"Principal Arceus will see you four now."

"I'll wait for you mewtwo." Deoxys said as he entered the office.

"Don't know why she annoys you," Yveltal said, "She's quite the looker."

"Spend five minutes with her and you have the same hatred I have for her."

The four teenagers sat down as principal Arceus sharpened a pencil.

"I'm not happy," Arceus said "NOT happy."

"Listen," Yveltal said "Giratina fired a shadow ball at Mew. We were just defending our friend."

"Be that as it may," Arceus said "You should have gotten a faculty member. NOT taken matters into your own hands."

Arceus let out a sigh "However since both Darkrai and Yveltal are new here and Mew and Mewtwo have been ideal students not to mention the Creation brothers' history of detention I think I'll let this one slide."

The four began smiling Before Arceus spoke again.

"However it better not happen again."

Vice principal Zygarde entered the office.

"The Creation brothers are here."

"Send them in."

The trio sat down as Arceus got up from his seat.

"One day. You three couldn't go ONE DAY without starting a fight."

"We're sorry principal Arceus." The brothers said in unison.

"Sorry is not going to cut it this time I have contacted the police. How does 2 years in a minimum security prison sound."

"Wait." Yveltal said as he, Darkrai, Mew, and Mewtwo circled up.

(Inside the huddle)

"Should we drop the charges against them?" Yveltal said.

"No, let's let em rot." Darkrai said.

"Well," Mewtwo interrupted "They hit Mew so let's let him decide."

"I don't want to see them in prison!" The smaller teen spoke up.

The four broke the huddle.

"Um principal Arceus?" Mew said "We would like to drop the charges against the Creation brothers."

Arceus swore under his breath "Fine they're free to go."

The seven teenagers walked out of the principal's office, then Giratina spoke up.

"Um, thanks for that," He said and looked at his brothers "We all owe you guys one."

The four friends huddled up again and mumbled something the Creation brothers couldn't understand.

"How about you do something for me?" Mew said.

Giratina looked at his brothers "What?"

"You'll see." Mew said until he went off to his next class.

Deadpool then teleported in

Deadpool: random timeskip powers activate

Mew, Mewtwo, Darkrai, and Yveltal were eating lunch.

"And here she comes." Mewtwo said.

A girl dressed in green walked by the table.

When Darkrai and Yveltal looked back Mew was drooling.

Darkrai looked at mewtwo.

"Celebi?"

"Celebi."

Two other teenagers followed Celebi in, A red haired boy staring at her even harder then Mew and A light skinned girl with waist length blonde hair.

"Who are those two?" Yveltal asked.

"The boy is Victini and the girl is Jirachi," Mewtwo explained "Victini is actually Celebi's boyfriend but my brother cannot take a hint."

When Mewtwo looked back his brother was gone.

Sure enough the smaller teen had already raced up and began talking (Flirting) with Celebi.

"Come on," Mewtwo said "If we don't help him Victini is going to break every bone in Mew's body."

Meanwhile with Mew and Celebi.

"Hey, Celebi you look beautiful as always."

"Um, thanks?"

Victini then grabbed Mew by his collar and pushed him up against the lunchroom wall.

"Keep your mitts off of my girl!" Victini said.

Mewtwo, Yveltal, and Darkrai then intervened.

"Victini," Mewtwo said "Why don't you let my brother go?"

"Cause he was flirting with MY girl."

Teenagers surrounded our main characters.

"FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT"

Darkrai sighed, "Not again."

Intermission

Yveltal, Mewtwo, Mew, and Darkrai were standing around a volcano filled with cattle and Mew was holding a TNT plunger

Darkrai: are you sure there isn't another way to get the cattle out

Mewtwo: not unless your ranch has access to 1500 helicopters

Yveltal: well actually-

Mew: too late this is more fun

Mew pressed the plunger and the volcano exploded with burning cattle flying out

Mewtwo: huh, roast beef

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program

Victini flew back and hit the wall hard enough to break the bricks.

"That fight was insanely epic." Yveltal said.

"I know," Mew said, "I can't believe Victini summoned a dragon and still lost."

Arceus burst into the lunchroom.

"What happened?"

"A lot of crap happened." said a random student.

"I'm just going to pretend I saw nothing." Arceus said before returning to his office.

The nurse ran into the lunchroom and took victini to the hospital.

"Well," Mew said "It has become apparent to me that this story cannot suck anymore."

Deadpool the appeared behind Mew.

"What did I say?"

He then teleported out only to return dressed as scorpion.

"Ready, FIGHT!" Shao Khan's voice was heard out of nowhere.

Deadpool then spammed the grapple uppercut AKA the cheapest combo ever til Mew started spinning dizzily.

"Finish Him."

Deadpool then teleported out only to return dressed as a pirate.

A ship appeared out of nowhere and fired a cannon shot into Mew's chest.

"Deadpool wins. FATALITY!"

"Well," Mewtwo said, "That just happened."

Man this took a while

Darkrai: maybe work a little harder next time

Mewtwo: he's right you know

Shut up

Deadpool: read and review


	3. New Characters

Here we are we're back again

Mew: I thought you hated those guys

I do

Yveltal: Then why use one of their songs

Because batman

Batman: I'm batman

I don't own Pokemon, Deadpool, "Back Again", or Batman

Yveltal: If he did do you think he'd be writing this sorry excuse for a story

The Creation brothers were just sitting at home when the phone rang.

"I got it," Palkia said before grabbing the phone "Hello?"

"Palkia," It was Mew's voice on the other end of the line "Hey you are going to owe me bigtime for this."

"What?"

"I got you a blind date."

"Really?"

"Yeah but she's a friend of mine so you better treat her like gold."

Palkia hung up the phone and ran upstairs to get ready for his date.

"Where do you think he's going?" Dialga asked.

"Got me." Giratina replied.

We then cut to random house in the middle of town.

Inside a girl with waist length pink hair in an artist's smock was painting a picture.

Then a girl with shorter blue hair wearing a tracksuit burst in.

"Hey Mesprit," The second girl said "Finished with that painting yet?"

"No Azelf," Mesprit replied "I'm not."

Then Mesprit's phone started to ring.

"Hello," she answered it. "Oh hey Mew."

You're not idiots you know what's happening.

"Well," Azelf said "What did Mew want?"

"He managed to get me a blind date."

"Eeeek." Azelf said before dragging her sister into her room.

"Come on let's get you ready."

Intermission (yeah, I'm evil)

(Will contain spoilers for a future couple)

Mew and Mewtwo were in a giant robot.

Mewtwo: Alright Mew, time for a test run

Mew: on it

Mewtwo: just make sure to activate the safety systems first

The robot fired a giant fireball

Mew: safety systems active. That will probably dissipate

We cut to Yveltal in a robot of his own with another following behind, until it was shot out of the sky by the fireball

Yveltal: No

Yveltal then rushed towards the source of the fireball

Mew: warning bogie approaching fast, 200 meters

Mewtwo: must be an alien

Mew: 0 meters

Mewtwo: what?

Yveltal then hit Mew and Mewtwo's robot

Yveltal: I'll break your face

Mewtwo: is it just me or do aliens keep getting smaller and angrier

Omnipresent announcer: Fight!

Yveltal rushed forward and cut at the robot's legs causing it to fall

Yveltal: your finished

Yveltal then froze up for a few seconds

Mew: quick Mewtwo, that circle on his chest, it must be a weak point

Mewtwo: right

Mew and Mewtwo's robot then punched Yveltal's only for it to do absolutely nothing

Mewtwo: what he didn't explode

Mew: well this defies all logic

Yveltal then punched the two again

Mew: Quick Mewtwo activate our robot's really OP second form

Mewtwo: on it

The robot then transformed into its really OP second form

Yveltal: Oh shit

The OP robot then threw Yveltal on the ground and charged up its ultimate attack

Yveltal: here it comes

The OP robot the fired a flaming robobird at Yveltal

Yveltal: divert all power to thrusters

Yveltal jumped out of the way

Yveltal: now to the beam saber

Yveltal charged up his sword and slashed at the OP robot

Yveltal: for Xerneas

Mewtwo: AH!

Mew: SON OF A BITCH!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program

A girl with blonde hair covering her eyes dressed in a tracksuit like Azelf's was playing solitaire.

"Uxie," Azelf said as she came down the steps "Look what I was able to do to Mesprit."

Mesprit walked down the steps wearing an ocean blue dress and enough makeup to seal 10 dams.

"Why do I have to wear this again?" Mesprit asked very annoyed.

"Because," Azelf replied "This will be your first date in… well ever."

"What about Zoura illusic?"

"Sweetie, he invited you to watch the superbowl with him."

"He did kiss me on the cheek."

"He was intoxicated."

Mesprit grumbled "Still counts."

Azelf let out an annoyed sigh "If it counts when they're intoxicated I should have had 10 boyfriends by now."

Uxie looked up at her sister "You need some new friends."

"I know."

The doorbell rang.

"Well," Uxie said "Here comes the father of my niece/nephew."

Mesprit went to unlock the door and gave her sister "Shut up" glare.

Palkia was standing in the doorway.

"Hello," He said "Is Mesprit Laogi here?"

Mesprit slammed the door shut and began breathing intensely.

"What's wrong?" Azelf asked.

"He got me a date with Palkia Creation!"

"What?!" Azelf screamed as Uxie fainted.

Azelf looked through the peephole and saw Palkia standing there.

"Okay," Azelf said trying to calm her sister "Mew somehow managed to get you a date with one of the most popular boys at school."

Mesprit began hyperventilating and the doorbell rang again.

Mesprit ran upstairs and Azelf answered the door.

"Hello," she said.

"Hey," Palkia replied "Is Mesprit Laogi here?"

"Why yes she is," Azelf could hear her sister gasp from upstairs "She's still getting ready mister Creation."

Palkia looked puzzled "How do you know my name?"

"Everyone knows who you are."

"True."

"Anyway," Azelf entered the living room with Palkia following close behind "There is something I wish to discuss with you while we wait for my sister."

Palkia shot her another puzzled look "And that would be?"

"What does your brother look for in," Azelf lost the grin on her face "A girlfriend?"

"Which one?" Palkia asked not catching the obvious hint.

"The younger one."

"Dialga?" Palkia asked as Azelf nodded "My brother isn't too into love ever since his last girlfriend."

"Why?"

"She was too clingy," He said as his voice suddenly became quite serious "She wouldn't let him hang out with his friends, threatened any girls he tried to talk to, and even hissed at me and Giratina one time. When Dialga broke up with her she tried to kill him."

Azelf's eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Just give him some freedom and he'll never breakup with you."

Azelf grabbed a paper and pencil and wrote it down.

"Anything else?" She asked

"He loves swimming, archaeology, and is great in woodshop. Also he hates bugs, is scared of lightning, and as mentioned before hates clingy women."

"Thank you." she said

"No problem," Palkia replied "My brother needs a new girlfriend anyway."

Mesprit came down the stairs.

"Ah," Palkia said getting up from his seat "There she is."

He grabbed Mesprit's arm and took her out to his car.

Before she left Mesprit mouthed out a message to Azelf "Help me."

Wow, this might be my longest chapter yet

Darkrai: you say that like it's a good thing

Anyway the PalkiaxMesprit and DialgaxAzelf ships are in honor of the great fanfiction writer Persephatta

Mewtwo: who is MUCH better than you

yeah, she is (I'm not being sarcastic I really think she is great)

Darkrai: read and review


	4. Pink Pearls

This chapter will focus on Palkia and Mesprit rather than the main characters

Mew: why? And don't say because Batman

Because you guys will be given a lot of attention in the ninja arc

Yveltal: Ninja arc?

I've said too much

Mew: actually no you haven't

Yveltal: weegee55 doesn't own pokemon

Palkia was guiding Mesprit to the location of their date.

Mew, Azelf. Mesprit thought I will get you two for this.

Intermission

Doofenshmirtz: Already?

yes, and I don't own Phineas and Ferb

Mew, Yveltal, and Victini were outside camping.

Victini: time for some relaxing music.

Victini began to play a clarinet as Mew loaded a marshmallow into a slingshot

Mew: I'll save you Victini

Mew fired the marshmallow into Victini's clarinet

Mew: that's it chew,chew,swallow. There better?

Victini: Better? I was just fine until you launched that ballistic junk food into my windpipe

Mew: but I had to it might attract… John Cena

Victini: John Cena? you mean who doesn't exist

Mew: what are you saying?

Victini: there is no such thing he's just a stupid wrestler

Mew: oh no Victini John Cena is all too real it says so in WWE magazine

Victini: John Cena kicked this guy's ass

Yveltal: yeah, and in sports illustrated

Victini: John Cena and Mike Tyson are real that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard

Yveltal: well it may be stupid, but it's also dumb

Mew: Yveltal's right Victini. John Cena is no laughing matter, once I knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin-

Victini: you're right, I should be more careful. in fact why don't you tell me everything that attracts John Cena to keep him away

Mew: alright, never play the clarinet

Yveltal: or wave your flashlight back and forth

Mew: Never eat cheese

Victini: slice or cubed

Mew: cubed, sliced is fine and never wear a sombrero

Yveltal: in a goofy fashion

Mew: or clown shoes

Yveltal: or a hoop skirt

Mew: and never

Yveltal: ever

Mew and Yveltal: screech like a chimpanzee

Victini: wow it's amazing how many things can set John Cena off. And I have a feeling that we're all in danger.

Mew and Yveltal: Why?

Victini I don't know

Victini runs off then returns with a flashlight, cubed cheese, while wearing a sombrero, hoopskirt, and clown shoes.

Victini: just a feeling

Mew: no

Victini: yes

Yveltal: no

Victini: oh ooh

Mew and Yveltal: Victini please don't

Victini begins screeching like a chimpanzee while waving the flashlight

Yveltal: what do we do Mew, John Cena is bound to show up

Mew: don't worry, I'll draw us an anti-Cena circle in the dirt

Yveltal: good thinking, it's the only thing that can keep him at bay

Victini: you guys are so gullible. I did everything that attracts John Cena and nothing happened if Cena is real why didn't he show up?

Mew: maybe it's cause you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion

Victini: pfft, how silly of me you mean like this

Victini tilted the sombrero only for another hand to put on his head upside down

Mew: no, like that

John Cena: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Victini: HELP!

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Mew: quickly jump in out anti-Cena circle before he comes back

Yveltal: yeah John Cena usually attacks more than once

Victini: are you kidding, a dirt circle won't stop that monster, I'm running for my life

Mew and Yveltal: NO!

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Mew: don't run Cena hates that

Victini: thanks for the tip, I guess I'll just limp away then

Mew and Yveltal: NO!

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Mew: he hates limping more than running

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Mew: I should have warned you about crawling

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Victini: what did I do that time

Mew: I don't know I guess he just doesn't like you

Yveltal: pretend to be someone else

Mew then through Victini a stick

Mew: here draw a circle

John Cena's theme plays while he beats up Victini

Mew: that was an oval it has to be a circle

Victini: move over

John Cena then began growling before pointing to Victini and leaving

Victini: hey I'm alive you guys saved me

Mew: I'm glad it was just John Cena this circle never would have held back Brock Lesnar

Victini: what attracts him

Yveltal: the sound of John Cena beating the crap out of a little school boy

Mew: good thing we're all wearing our Anti-Brock Lesnar undergarments right Victini

Victini: uh

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program

Palkia had blindfolded Mesprit while he lead them to the site of their date.

"This is stupid." She said.

"Trust me," he replied "You will be pleasantly surprised by the little gift I have for you."

Palkia took off the blindfold revealing them to be at an art gallery. What really took Mesprit's breath away was the fact that one of her paintings was on display.

"The curator loved your work so much he decided to put it on display. After my father showed it to him."

Mesprit was at a loss for words. "How did you know about my work?"

"You know those love letters sent in by a secret admirer?"

Mesprit gasped. This was way too much of a coincidence, first Mew gets her a date who happens to be one of the most popular boys at school who also happens to be her secret admirer.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No," she relied "It's just why did you decide to pick me when any other girl in our school would have killed to go out with you."

"A number of reasons," he replied "First you don't take shit from anybody. Remember when me and my brothers first met you and your sisters?"

"Yeah," she replied "Giratina sniffed my hair."

"And you punched him in the gut. No has ever stood up to Gira before and I admired your courage. Second is you are just so sweet you are always nice to everyone and so loyal to your sisters. Finally," he gestured to the painting "You're just so amazingly talented."

"Thanks." she said.

Palkia and Mesprit left the gallery and Mesprit couldn't help but think of that letter she received that was addressed by her secret admirer.

"Hey Mesprit," Palkia asked "Are you alright? You look a little flustered."

"Yeah I'm fine."

"No you not!" he took a deep breath "Tell me what's wrong."  
"I'd rather not."

"Fine," he said as he continued walking "There's one more place I'd like to show you."

Mesprit followed him to an old park and followed Palkia to a nearly invisible path. The path led to an overlook that showed the moonlight reflecting on the ocean.

"Wow."

"I know."

The duo looked at each other before turning away blushing.

"Listen Mesprit," he began "I'm not asking for an 'I love you' just a 'we can try'. Please?"

"Fine," she replied "I did love the poem you wrote me anyway."

"Thank you!" Palkia screamed as he hugged her.

"No problem."

The two just stared at the water for a time more. Until the looked at each other and pressed their lips together.

"Aw," Azelf said her and Uxie jumping out of the bushes "That's so sweet!"

"Azelf!" Mesprit screamed "How long were you watching?"

"The whole time." Uxie replied.

"Hold on a minute," Palkia said "Spacial rend." He fired an energy boomerang into a bush revealing Dialga and Giratina hiding there.

"Beat it," Giratina said before him and Dialga ran like cowards.

"I'm going to kick your asses into next week." Palkia screamed running after them and charging up another spacial rend.

"Hehehe," Azelf said "I got his phone."

"Why would you want his phone?" Uxie asked.

"To record Dialga's number."

Uxie and Mesprit looked at each other.

"Mesprit," Uxie began "Please tell me I'm not going to wind up with Giratina."

"Trust me you don't want to."

We cut to the creation brother's house. Giratina and Dialga were being burned alive salem style.

"Next time don't interrupt my date."

Palkia left while Giratina and Dialga tried to blow out the flames

An ancient monastery was located deep within the Mountains. An elder monk was meditating until a younger one burst in.

"Sir," he began "The scroll of destiny has been reactivated!"

The elder monk looked at him. "Impossible!"

Who are these monks?

What is the scroll of destiny?

Will Giratina and Dialga escape their death by fire?

Tune in next time to find out

Darkrai: but this isn't a TV show

Mewtwo: read and Review


	5. Blue Diamonds

Next chapter will focus on Azelf and Dialga.

Mew: when are we coming back

I told you, ninja arc

Yveltal: you're still not telling us are you

nope

Mew: Weegee55 doesn't own pokemon

Azelf slowly typed each number into her phone.

"I can't do this." she said.

"Yes you can," Uxie said "You've been wanting to do this for all of high school. Just call him up and ask him out."

"I can't," Azelf said "I'm not good enough!"

Uxie slapped her "You are Azelf," she said "If anyone deserves to be with him it's you."

"You're right."

"You bet your ass I'm right," Uxie said "Now call him."

Azelf dialed Dialga's number. The Creation brother answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dialga," Azelf replied "I just thinking WOULDYOULIKETOGOONADATEWITHME?"

"What?"

"Great see you at 7."

(Back at the Creation Brothers' house)

Dialga hung up the phone.

"What happened bro?" Palkia asked.

"I think I just got asked out."

Intermission

A cyborg Mew opened the door

Mew: Celebi I'm home- what the hell

Mew's house was in shambles

Laying on the tv was a disk that said play me

Mew put the disk into the DVD player and the video began

It showed Darkrai walking through Mew's house and walking up to Celebi while she was showering

The video then cut to Celebi being tied to a chair and forced to watch ROBOT CHICKEN

Mew: MOTHERFUCKER!

We then cut to Mew standing in front of Darkrai's castle (Play Globus by Europa right now)

Mew walked up to the door to find Yveltal guarding it

Yveltal: sorry buddy you can't come in

Mew then punched Yveltal through the door where several other pokemon were waiting

Mewtwo: oh shit

Mew then killed all of the pokemon in the lobby and turned his attention to the stairs where Deoxys and Kyurem were standing

Deoxys: are you on your way to a fancy party. That was my line from our first appearance on this show

Mew then punched Deoxys before turning his hand into a buzz saw and cutting Deoxys in half and decapitating Kyurem

Mew hiked up the stairs, drank the beer Deoxys had, and turned his arm into a sword

Gallade was standing there with a blade of his own

Gallade: aw man

Mew and Gallade began sword fighting before Mew cut him in half

Mew continued up the steps to find Munchlax

Munchlax: you seem so ruthless (pulls out drill) time to make you toothless

Mew then crushed Munchlax's head all over the wall

Up the steps was a tepig, clefable, and sawk

Mew prepared to fight them before a bionic cacturne kicked him into the wall

They began wailing on him until Mew knocked out the sawk, shoved the tepig into an oven while using it to knock out the cacturne, and throwing the roast pig at the clefable

A politoed was waiting for him with dual machine guns

Politoed: bum-bum

Mew then punched him over the side

Mew continued up the steps where a Keldeo was waiting for him

Keldeo: we, your tail looks ripped for my pleasure

Mew then broke of his horn and shoved it up his butt

Keldeo: that's not half bad actually

Mew then threw him out the window

Mew continued up the steps to find a miltank and crapload of beartraps

Miltank: I'm so happy cause you are gonna die, GONNA DIE

Mew then carefully stepped over the traps and grabbed the miltank after she tried to kick him

Miltank: No, no, no, no, stop

Mew then threw deactivating the traps and cutting her apart

A kricketune was playing a drum

Kricketune: drum roll, it's very suspenseful

Mew then shoved the kricketune's drumsticks into his eyes

Kricketune: ah, what an ironic death

A mightyena rushed at Mew

Mightyena: how much have you?

Mew side stepped causing him to fall down the steps

A teddiursa appeared behind him

Teddiursa: looks like someone's been watching tony jaws' the protector

Mew shot him a glare

Teddiursa: looks like someone just peed in his gonjiam boxer shorts

Next to the teddiursa was aggron which made a humping gesture until Mew tased him

Mew walked by a Patrat before shooting him

The next room was christmas themed

Delibird: (lands on Mew) suck my sleigh balls

Mew hit him with a wooden club

Delibird: my only weakness

The next room had a lone lopunny

Lopunny: da, da dad da, BITCH PUDDING

Lopunny: (punches Mew) blam!

Lopunny: how do you like a taste of bitch pudding. You're mama sure liked it when she ate it out of my butthole

Mew then hit her with a sign that said "my mother was a saint"

Lopunny then hit him back until he countered knocking her over the ledge

Lopunny: BLAM! (dies)

He was then ambushed by a chimchar and klefki

Mew then knocked out a trapinch and saved a yamask from killing itself

Yamask: you saved me…

Sableye: CD! (gets knocked out by Mew)

Yamask: ...life does have some real meaning after all

Mew then cut the Yamask's head in half

Mew killed a dragonite that was coming towards and advanced to the next floor

Deadpool and Robocop appeared to challenge him

Deadpool: ding dang this is gonna be one didly of a swaberdonker

Mew then back stepped causing them to run into each other

Robocop: these ratings will be glorious

Mew then crushed their heads and moved to the final floor where Oshawott was waiting for him

Oshawott: let me just get that for (opens door) I wish I was a bionic Mew. That would be so cool

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program

Dialga was walking to Azelf's house with Palkia next to him.

"Come on," Palkia said "I talked to Azelf and she's a nice girl."

"Wait," Dialga said "You talked to her?"

"Yeah." his brother replied.

"Did you tell her about you know who?"

"Maybe."

"Palkia," Dialga said "I'm going to kill you."

"Hey man," Palkia said "Now she knows not to be clingy."

Back with the Laogi sisters.

"Come on," Mesprit said "I already met him and he seems like a decent guy."

"He is," She replied "But he's way out of my league."

"Bullshit!" Uxie screamed "You are my big sister, a girl who stands up for others, cares about everyone even her enemies, and would rather die than live without her friends and family. If anything you're out of his league."

"Dang Uxie," Mesprit said "You should become a motivational speaker when you grow up."

There was a knock at the door. Azelf gulped and opened it. And sure enough Palkia and Dialga were standing there.

"Hey," Dialga said "Are you my date?"

Azelf nodded.

"So what would you like to do?"

"Oh," Azelf said "I was thinking we could go swimming in Royaltyfree pond."

"Why is it called that?" Dialga asked

"Remember," Palkia said "History class."

FLASHBACK

"Now then," the teacher said "Royaltyfree pond was discovered in the 1700s by minuteman Cpl. Pleasedon'tsueme."

END FLASHBACK

"So why is it called that?"

"I don't know."

"Ahem." Mesprit said gaining the brothers' attention.

"Oh," Palkia replied "Sorry my dear. But I have a lovely carriage ride awaiting us."

Palkia and Mesprit left leaving Dialga and Azelf alone.

"So," he said "Should we get going."

"Huh, Oh right!"

Dialga and Azelf headed for the pond. It took over half an hour of walking but they made it. (The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife)

"So," Dialga began "Why exactly did you want to go swimming?"

"Oh," she replied "I just thought that, you know, it'd be nice."

"Palkia told me about your discussion."

Azelf's eyes widened.

"It's fine." he said.

"Really?" Azelf asked.

"Yeah," Dialga replied "I just wish he didn't tell you about her."

The two arrived at the pond

"Darnit," Dialga said "I forgot to bring my trunks and these are school clothes."

"No problem," Azelf said "You can go swimming in your underpants."

"I'm not wearing any."

Azelf went wide-eyed again. "What?"

"Me and my brothers made a bet to see who could go commando the longest."

"So," Azelf asked "Does that mean Palkia isn't wearing any underpants right now?"

"Yes, yes it does."

"Well," she said "I could look away while you get in the pond water is pretty dirty."

"Alright."

A few minutes later Azelf jumped in with him now wearing a bikini.

"C-c-cold." She said.

Dialga looked at something in the distance.

"Something wrong?" Azelf asked.

"We have to go."

"What?"

"NOW!"

A young girl with green air dressed in white with a flower in her hair stepped up to the pond.

"Hello," she said before turning her attention to Dialga "And hello."

"Hi Shaymin." He replied.

"Who?" Azelf asked.

"You know," Dialga began "The girl Palkia told you about."

Azelf's eyes went wide again.

"Going for a swim?" Shaymin asked. "Why don't I join you."

Shaymin took off her dress causing Dialga to blush and Azelf to become slightly pissed.

"Do you mind?" She said.

Shaymin just looked at her and said "I'm sorry I didn't know he was here with his great grandmother."

Dialga closed his eyes and heard a thwack. When he opened them again Shaymin was lying unconscious in the water. Azelf stepped out of the pond and got dressed.

"Hey," Dialga said "You alright."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am!" She was practically screaming "I'm just fine so drop it."

"No!" He replied "Something's wrong so tell me now!"

SLAP!

"Oh," Azelf said "I'm sorry Dialga I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," he replied "I shouldn't have been pressing you about such a touchy subject."

"Do you really want to know why I hit her?" he nodded "I kinda, maybe, sorta, have a crush on you."

"What?"

"I have a crush on you."

"One more time."

"I have a crush on you!"

Dialga's jaw dropped to the ground. "What? Really?"

Azelf nodded her face redder than a tamoto berry. Then Shaymin sprang back to life. "You little whore. How dare you lay a hand on my Dialga!" She was quickly knocked unconscious by a roar of time.

"Sorry Dia-" Dialga cut her off with a kiss.

"That's for standing up to Shaymin." Azelf then passed out. Dialga pulled out his phone and called his brother.

"Sup," Palkia said "How is it going."

"Well," Dialga began "I found out she has a crush on me, beat up Shaymin and kissed her. So all in all a good night. What have you been up to."

"I'm beating up a guy who tried to rape mesprit," Palkia then began charging his ultimate attack "SPACIAL REND!"

"Good job bro. Now I'm going to have to drag Azelf home."

Timeskip!

The couples returned home only to find the lights out.

"Come on Uxie," Mesprit said "Open up."

Uxie answered the door in a different suit and with her hair frayed and lipstick smudged.

"Yeesh," Mesprit said "What happened to you?"

"Third Creation brother is what happened."

Azelf and Mesprit's jaws went slack as Dialga lit a torch and Palkia pulled out a pitch fork.

"Don't worry we'll get him."

Sorry this chapter took so long but I've been running out of ideas

Darkrai: no excuses!

Mewtwo: stone him!

OW! god damnit OW! read and review


	6. It is Time

IT IS TIME!

Mew: for what?

The ninja arc

Yveltal: why are we doing this we know it's going to let down after all this half-assed build-up

Shut up, I don't own pokemon

The friends were sitting down in study hall when a girl in a light blue dress with rainbow highlights in her hair walked by catching Yveltal's attention.

"Who's she?" he asked.

"That's Xerneas," Mew replied "She the school's cheer captain… Yveltal just went to chase after her didn't he?"

"Yep." Darkrai said.

With Yveltal and Xerneas

"So," He said "Wanna $#% like bunnies?"

SLAP!

Xerneas walked away in a huff. Mewtwo walked up to his friend. "You alright man?"

"She will be mine!"

"Okay, you mind if I record your fails?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm doing it anyway."

Deadpool: begin random pick-up fail montage

You should be familiar with pick-up fails huh Deadpool

Deadpool: shut it!

Yveltal jumped in front of Xerneas "Are you a bird collector cause you got a nice set of-"

SLAP!

Yveltal tried again "My dick died, mind if I buried it in your ass?"

SLAP!

And again "Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

SLAP!

And again "Life's short, let's $#%* and see if there's anything afterwards."

SLAP!

And one more time "I want to use your thighs as earmuffs."

SLAP!

"That's it," Yveltal was in the nurse's office for being slapped around 20 times. "I'm giving up on love."

"Dude," Mewtwo began "Just because Xerneas refused to sleep with you doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you."

"Mewtwo, it's quite clear I don't got game."

"Well, rape is always an option."

Yveltal's jaw hit the ground.

"I'm kidding."

"I hope so."

"There is no other way you're going to $%&* Xerneas though."

"I'm not trying to bang her. I'm trying to make her my girlfriend."

"Then why are you using these pickup lines?"

"They're what my uncle uses."

"And has he ever had a girlfriend."

"Good point."

"All I'm saying is be less forward with Xerneas."

"How do you do it?"

"What?"

"I get slapped twenty times when I try, you don't try and get a stalker."

"You're asking me how I Accidentally seduced Deoxys?"

"Accidently?"

"It's a long story."

Flashback

36 months before Darkrai and Yveltal's arrival Mew and Mewtwo were playing baseball behind the school.

"Please let me go!" The brothers looked at each other. The looked around the corner and sure enough Deoxys was standing there. She was being pushed against the wall by a teenager wearing a green bomber jacket with the hood hiding his hair and face.

"I don't think so little lady," the teen said "The boss has his eye on you, and what the boss wants the boss gets. But before I turn you over I think I'll have a little taste."

"Let her go Tyranitar!" Mewtwo had come out of hiding.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't bookworm. Where's your brother at bookworm."

"I said, let her go."

"Fine bookworm. If you want to die so badly you could just ask the boss to put you out of your misery." Tyranitar charged at Mewtwo who concentrated a sphere of psychic energy.

"Headbutt!"

"Psybang!"

Deoxys looked over and Tyranitar was lying on the ground unconscious. Mewtwo walked over. "You're safe now miss."

"Thank you."

"Might I know your name?"

"It's Deoxys."

"Beautiful name. Mine's Mewtwo."

"Um, Mewtwo. If it's not too much trouble could you turn your head?"

"Of course, but why?" Deoxys kissed him on the cheek causing him to blush and hold the area she kissed.

"That's for saving me."

Deoxys left and Mewtwo began smiling. A toilet could be heard flushing. Mew stepped out of the bathroom. "No more atomic wings for me. So what'd I miss?"

Back to the present

"You seriously don't know why she loves you?"

"I understand that she likes what I did for her but I don't want our relationship to be just because I saved her."

"Dude, you don't know what's going?"

"No, what?"

"It's a fairytale. Princess is danger. Prince defeats evil creature. Prince and Princess live happily ever after."

"Pardon?"

"That's what Deoxys saw. She was the captive princess, Tyranitar was the evil monster that had kidnapped her, and you were her knight in shining armor coming to her rescue. Chicks love that romantic crap."

"Well I'm not the best person to ask about this, try someone else."

Celebi's POV

Victini had called me up last night and said he wanted to talk about our relationship. I hope he doesn't mean what I think he means. He was talking to Jirachi when I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh, Cel. Sit down please."

"What's wrong?"

"Celebi I've been meaning to tell you this."

Victini leaned down on one knee. He pulled out a small box and opened it revealing a small ring.

"Celebi, will you marry me?"

Intermission

Mew was guzzling down a bottle of hard liquor in a bar when Mewtwo walked in.

Mewtwo: happy birthday Mew from your Brother Mewtwo- and you're drunk

Mew: Hey Mewtwo

Mewtwo: how's the birthday going?

Mew: ghgbh tjkila Deer teeth

Mewtwo: okay

Mew: Mewtwo, hey listen

Mewtwo: what?

Mew: listen

Mewtwo: what?

Mew: listen

Mewtwo: WHAT?

Mew: LISTEN!

Mew: I love you man, I want us to grow old together in every way

Mewtwo: kay?

Mew: dance party for Mew (falls down) yeah

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program

I was awestruck, I didn't know how to react. Just one word came out of my mouth.

"Yes." Victini got up kissed her. Neither of them heard a certain someone crying.

And that's that

Mewtwo: but you said ninja arc

I lied


End file.
